It's a pretty basic rule of evolution that genetic diversity is a good for any organism, and human beings are no different than other organisms in this respect. And evolution, unencumbered by things like concerns over royal lineages (which leads to inbreeding) usually gets its way. With humans, evolution gets its way by making sure we are attracted to people not like us.

Scientists have shown that accents are almost universally considered attractive (I have no citation for this claim) because they demonstrate a foreignness that could provide genetic diversity to one's gene pool. People throughout history have come together in spite of laws and power structures that tried to keep groups, including religions, ethnicity, races, and street gangs (in the case of West Side Story) separate.

This is easy to see when traveling. Stay at any party hostel or beach side resort and you can see the wonders (or maybe horrors) of this Darwinian dating trend at work. But shared history, customs, upbringings, and movie references are a common ground that can often make relationships and getting to know people easier. Without them, things become difficult, biological imperatives be damned. But they can be overcome. Here's my list of the top five difficulties of dating a foreign, non-western girl. (These are all pretty gender neutral, but I don’t want to generalize about dating foreign men, having never done it myself.)

1. Cultural Preferences

Obviously something like "cultural preferences" is a pretty big umbrella term, and everything on this list could probably fall underneath it, one way or another. But here I'm talking about preferences in consumption habits. You don't realize how trained you are to like certain things by your environment until you are out of that environment. With my Colombian girlfriend for example, food preferences is a major issue. I hate to say it, but it's true: Colombian food is awful. It's not that it tastes bad; it's just that it doesn't taste like anything at all. This is a country where you can ask for "carne" (meat) at a restaurant and you won't be asked for more information. It's also a country where there is, as far as I could tell, one kind of cheese.

But Colombians think their food is amazing. I don't understand why. It's not like they haven't had other ethnic foods, they have (although the versions they get are also terrible), they just like fried tasteless food more than anyone. So going out to restaurants with my girlfriend can be difficult, as she not only likes bad food, she hates good food. It's like she's been trained to distrust taste.

Okay, so she doesn't like the food I like. Big deal. But I really like traveling and trying weird and exotic foods; to me that's part of experiencing any culture and a very important part of the traveling experience. (Also, I like to eat, and this is a pretty damn good way to justify doing it excessively, if I do say so myself.) She, on the other hand, really doesn't like to try new food,so it's hard to share this part of my life with her.

Clearly this upsets me, so let's just move on.

I will add that cultural preferences have a lot to do with other kinds of consumption as well, including movies, music, and books. As an American, I am always amazed what American TV shows are celebrated in other countries, or what music is considered good, even outside of dancing contexts. And like many Americans of my generation, I will sometimes speak in movie quotes with my friends at home. I'm always amazed how often my reactions to things involve Seinfeld and Will Ferrell quotes. This won't work with most foreigners.

2. Language

This is in a lot of ways the most obvious one, but if you're already dating a foreigner you clearly have worked out ways to communicate (unless you are just so attractive that words aren't necessary, which is a phenomenon I've seen happen, mostly with blue eyed Viking looking dudes and South American women.) It's more the small things that you have to worry about with language, including the flow of communication, which can be broken up by long pauses spent trying to remember words.

There's also the compliment that the other person doesn't get, which is weird, because compliments, like jokes, don't really work if they have to be explained. Also, there's what you think are compliments but aren't (don't tell a Colombian girl she is hot, calling someone "caliente" means they’re horny.). And phone calls, where body language is absent, can be just brutal. You should probably text as much as possible, while having a translation service ready for help.

On a more personal note, I speak Spanish pretty well. I'm not fluent, or even advanced, but I would say my level is high intermediate. I can have lengthy conversations in Spanish, and I understand all the facts being communicated. Communication can still be difficult, however, because there is still alot of cultural subtext I don't get, and many idioms are still completely bewildering to me. And trying to translate things directly often makes things infinitely more complicated then they need to be, but if you don't know the cultural equivalent, there's not much else you can do.

3. Western Assumptions

Even the most educated, worldly, and non-judgmental westerner (and I’m really referring to Americans here, because we are the worst at this) brings some individualist and consumerist baggage to every interaction with foreigners, especially those from what would be classically referred to as the “third world.” Yes, clearly there are things that western affluence has given you that other people don’t have, and you should be aware of that, but don’t be condescending about it.

In places like Colombia, there is a growing middle class, and a lot of people have everything they need. Nobody dreams of moving to America, although they might want to take a trip there. Yennifer has no desire to move to America, she loves Colombia. Of course I love Colombia too, but my home is in the U.S. and the back and forth can get pretty difficult. But there's just no way she would want to live far from her family for an extended period of time. Westerners need to understand that given many cultures' extensive family support structures, instead of being envious of wealthy, foreigners might feel bad for you sitting all alone with your big screen TV. Of course romanticizing extended familial relationships is another sign of a condescending gringo. See? Even I can’t escape it. Just try to be aware of it as much as possible.

4. Sense of Humor

While laughter and a sense of humor are universal human traits, the type of humor and the way the sense of humor is calibrated can differ greatly across cultures. With western culture spreading everywhere, of course, this is becoming less the case. But there is no doubt that even in cultures that are very similar, comedy styles can be very different ( just watch the British and the American office to get a sense of this…both are brilliant, but noticeably different in tone.)

Heavy irony and sarcasm, often delivered deadpan and straight faced, are not only hard to detect, understand, or execute in a second language, the very concept can often be culturally specific. If this is your default mode, and for many Americans and Brits especially it often is, then get ready to dial down the cynicism when dating a foreigner. If you find yourself completely unable to function without irony, then you are a hipster and I’m sorry. There’s nothing I can do for you.

(“Whatever…I’m going to write my own travel blog and I’m not even going to travel. It’s going to be so meta…”)

5. Visa Issues

This is a big one, because even getting married doesn’t guarantee you a visa (I know! Unbelievable right? That’s a serious myth about loopholes that we should educate people about, it’s on par with the belief that if you ask a cop if he’s a cop he has to tell you. Not true either.) This one can be a big bummer. Because I’m dating a Colombian and I want to be with her more than the six months a year I’m allowed in Colombia. (You assumed I was referring to getting her to the U.S. weren’t you? It’s okay, you can admit it. Just remember #4 on this list. ) And traveling together can be a head ache as well.

The good thing, however, is that if you are working on Visa Issues, and trying to figure out how to cut through bureaucratic bullshit in order to be together, then you’ve probably come up with a pretty good strategy for dealing with the first four. So well done. And remember, you’re going to have issues with people from home as well. You might as well have interesting problems, right?

I somehow found myself at a nice restaurant in Medellin eating dinner with a famous TV host from Switzerland and his documentary film crew. This is all because of a friend of a friend of a friend in Switzerland.  One of my foreigner friends in Medellin who has since gone back to Switzerland once again set me up with this cool opportunity just as he did when I attended a Colombian high society party with beauty queens, liquor board president’s, military commanders, and rich people. Apparently he gave the TV-Journalist a handful of contacts to call up once in Medellin.

In the early evening the Swiss TV presenter, Reto Brennwald, called me up to invite me out to dinner with him and his film crew.

Reto Brennwald (born April 19, 1963 in Winterthur [1]) is a Swiss television presenter. From April 2008 until the end of 2010 he hosted the political talk show arena for Swiss television.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Since 2011 he works for the editorial mission of Doc as a reporter in the documentary field. [2]

Brennwald grew up in Winterthur and made the Matura. His journalistic career began in 1988 as an editor at the journal Regional Zurich-Schaffhausen in the Swiss Radio DRS. 1991 Brennwald editor and presenter on radio station DRS third In 1993, he worked for Radio 24 as moderator and editor of music and talk shows. In 1994 he became a video journalist at the regional television TeleZüri moderated and there the programs Steinfels Live and Sunday Talk. Since 1997, fuel wood is the Swiss television. By 2008 he was host of the program has moved here.

They had arrived by boat from Panama that morning and after a full day of shooting were going to end the day with a quick dinner before moving onto Peru the next night.  Rather than watch television for the night I changed plans and took a taxi to Poblado to meet them. Unlike all other foreigners who find a nice restaurant in the center of Poblado, Parque Lleras, Beto and his crew settled in a nice Italian restaurant block away from the action. Of course I got lost trying to find the place. By the time I arrived Beto was waiting for me outside of the restaurant.

We shook hands and once at the table I met the rest of his crew – the producer, cameraman, and translator. Reto told me that my friend had given him about 5 contacts in Medellin but he was interested in meeting me after reading a little of this website. Hello Reto if you’re reading this!

He and his crew are filming a travel show from Central America to the tip of South America ending in Tierra del Fuego. The show will eventually appear on the Swiss Radio and Television network.

If it weren’t in Swiss-German I would really like to see it. Before meeting me they had spent the day with an ex-FARC who quit the organization after finishing his 14 year prison sentence. Now the guy helps others wanting to do the same. The next day they planned to show the nicer side of Medellin filming from the metro.

What was really interesting to me was that the the photographer had done a year long backpacking trip with time spent in Colombia 2o years ago.

During the dinner we talked a lot about Colombia. As always I tried explaining why I keep coming back. I gave an example that when walking inside and elevator here people always greet each other unlike in many other countries. But they were quick to correct me that they also do the same in Switzerland. Maybe a visit to Switzerland someday soon? We discussed Colombia and I tried to explain in a nice way that by this point the way Colombia is portrayed is so overdone. Whether its bloggers, journalists, or documentary makers its typically told in the same narrative. That Colombia used to be a chaotic place with violence, crime, drugs, and Pablo Escobar. By the end of the story it will be explained how Colombia has overcome so much and is still struggling to find its identity. I think their documentary will follow a similar narrative but will still have an interesting take considering their story of the ex-FARC and the unique perspective from Medellin’s metro.

The dinner went very quickly and after they paid the bill the crew offered to drive me back home in their van. It was very nice of them but completely out of the way.  This meetup is absolutely the last thing I envisioned doing on a Monday night but what an interesting night it was.

Flip to page 67 of January’s edition of CARAS magazine and you will find me. CARAS is a famous magazine from Latin America which features celebrity and human interest stories. CARAS, which translates to “faces” in English, could be compared to America’s People Magazine.

January’s edition features Shakira and her ex-husband on the cover!

Then on page 67 there is a photo of myself and two friends attending an event at Club Manizales along with beauty pageant contestants, TV celebrities, and important business people.

Out of 60 or so photos sent to the editor I was told they chose ours.

You heard me right. I think I prefer Medellin’s Pueblito Paisa more than most real towns, at least during December. It’s built on Nutibara  hill in the center of Medellin as a representation of a typical pueblo found throughout the Antioquia department. It’s filled with souvenir shops, cafes, and restaurants serving typical Paisa food like the Bandeja Paisa meal. It’s completely cliche but nice to visit none the less.

The most popular place to celebrate pre-christmas as you would guess is Pueblito Paisa. Not only is it decked to the max with christmassy stuff but its protected even more. Many soldiers have big guns so in reality its the unarmed gringo you should really be afraid of. Who knows what that guy is capable of?

Entering the fake church you will find the most absurd things happening like a Jewish gringo giving a sermon to Colombian Catholics.

Walk a step outside and try Natilla, Colombia’s poor excuse for dessert. To be honest though, it does taste alright. A win for Colombian food!

All thoughout this fake town there are fake Motaneras A.K.A. uneducated rural people having a good time.

The guy in the grey shirt is the montanera, by the way.

In Colombia they don’t believe that Santa Claus is a fat old man with a grey beard. Instead they believe in the more ridiculous idea of Santa being a little girl with a long white beard. Silly Colombians. Oh, and here is the Colombian Santa.

This is a chiva.

Downtown Pueblita Paisa

In the general store you can buy candy apples, fried pork rinds, and chocolate covered strawberries.

Pueblito Paisa is well known for its lookout point up above where they also decorate with some serious Christmas lights.

A view of the city from Pueblito Paisa

More Christmas lights

Gingerbread people and candy canes

The parking lot is even pretty special

View of the mock town

And a snack for when you leave A.K.A. diarrhea.

The holidays are well over by now but its never too late to write about them. I’m not a religious person but there is something really pleasant about holiday time in December. It feels good.

Medellin is especially passionate about December. For instance, even December 1st is kind of important. During that time I was out celebrating on a weekday night in a full country bar styled disco, called a fonda in Colombia. At midnight the club set off fireworks and many cheered as if it they were dropping the ball on New Years Eve. The truth is they were just excited to welcome December, the month of many holidays.

On December 7th Colombians celebrate the next holiday for something having to do with Mary I think. On this day they light a bunch of candles. I went over to a friend’s home that night to drink and dance with the person’s family. But before meeting up with them I watched the Mitos y Leyendas parade in downtown Medellin with a group of friends. All along Avenida Oriental a bunch of floats ranging from half naked monsters to fully clothed witches pass by on floats. We found a spot next to the TV cameras so every character made the ideal scary pose each time he or she passed.

Official Start of the Parade with drummers

and the last photo I took before my camera died.

Fast forward even more a few days later and the city of Medellin officially turns on the Christmas lights. I took a friend to the center to watch.

First up was a shadow dance accompanied with a live orchestra

The orchestra played all the Christmas classics

While listening to the live orchestra EPM, a huge company sponsors a light show

Once this all ends the city officially turns on the lights. A very short walk away by the river brings you to an elaborate display of public Christmas ornaments.

Vendors are out in full force taking advantage of the insane foot traffic. I know this popcorn vendor must have made enough to buy this year’s christmas presents.

This is just one aspect of December in Medellin. I have only celebrated the holidays in just a couple countries but I sincerely believe Medellin would make it onto any honest top 10 countries for the December holidays.

Due to popular demand 1-3 people I am making a conscious effort to record and compile more videos. This latest video is from both Medellin and Pipinta, Colombia. In Medellin we went to Parque Arvi using the city’s cable car system. In Parque Arvi we were able to go paddleboating, horseback riding and ziplining for under $15 a person. In Pipinta their is a nice view of one of the resorts we stayed in for $100 a night per person with three meals included. Reading this back Colombia can be a great deal as long as you’re not slumming it.

Click here to view the video on YouTube.